Raising Three Arrows.: My Momma. I remember.

Saturday was a great day. I spent the afternoon surrounded by mothers. But it was my own mother who made the biggest impact.

As I listened to her talk about her mother, my mawmaw, it really touched my heart. "I close my eyes and see her loving face, hear her kind voice. I can still feel the softness of her cheek that I would kiss. Her unfailing Faith has been a Legacy I am eternally grateful for!"

I cannot fathom losing my mom. I cannot imagine her not being here with us. Selfishly I say, here for us. Because, she does that. Quite often.
BUT, when the good Lord wills that time for my mom to pass from this earth....she's going to Heaven. And I will have sweet memories to share with my children and their children and maybe even their children's children. (AAHH! Jesus just come quickly!)

I remember.

The early days; I remember her always being close. I remember her laughter. I remember the few times I got really ill and she would bring me a cool cloth or a cup of 7-UP, hold me, and tickle my neck. I remember the summer I wrecked my bike and sliced up my knees so bad. She was out of town when it happened. When she finally got home several days later I remember her walking in and coming straight to me. To hold me and tell me "I'm so sorry I wasn't here!". I remember bedtime kisses and her saying "brush your teeth, wash your face, pee and go to bed." every.single.night.
I remember smiles and hugs and kisses. I remember she was the "cool" mom. I remember 8th Grade Dance and she chaperoned. I thought that was awesome and was so glad she videotaped it. I remember her coming to track meets and cheering us on. I remember her fingernails, always long and so neat. I remember the way she always removed her makeup and washed her face every night. The routine of it was so....rhythmic. I remember her glass of chocolate milk every night before bedtime. (Always with Nestle Quik Powder. Always). I remember family dinners always at the table. I remember fun family vacations and trips and holding her hand, even when it was no longer "required". I remember shopping trips. Lots of shopping trips. I remember the way she was always striving for peace in our home. I remember, though she eventually had to work outside the home, she still tried to be present whenever she possibly could.
I remember the love she had for her own parents and how we would visit them regularly, and she called them every day. I remember she would talk to anyone and everyone and always sticks up for the "underdog". She is always fair and honest and courageous.

I grew up, graduated high school and moved out. I immediately missed her. We became best friends.

She became my voice of reasoning. My rock. I called her every day (still do). I remember her strength when her mom passed away. I also remember her grief. I remember sharing our grief. I remember her joy when I became pregnant. I remember her sorrow and sympathy when we miscarried. I remember her joy when we got married. I remember asking her to be my Matron of Honor. She didn't hesitate to say "of course!" I remember working together with her to plan our wedding. I remember her excitement when she asked me to attend church with her. I remember the celebration of our salvation. I remember her pride and joy and tears when I was baptized.
I remember the way she dropped everything, changed everything, when her dad, my pawpaw was not well enough to live on his own. She took him in without hesitating. She took care of him. Day and night, whatever he needed, she took care of it. I remember her strength as his time was coming to end. I remember her courage as the day arrived and she said good-bye. We said good-bye. I remember her grief over the loss of her dad. I remember sharing stories of what great people her mom and dad were and the legacy they built. I remember how proud I was of her for taking care of her parents no matter the cost.
I remember her unwavering support when the hardest years of our marriage brought us down and threatened to break us. I remember her love for my husband. I remember her support, words of wisdom, prayers, so.many.prayers., as I we tried and believed and pray for a child. All those years. I will never forget her excitement, her smiles, her joy when we discovered we were finally pregnant. And when we announced it was twins! And when we announced it was boys! Oh mom! You were all smiles!
All the dreams and thoughts we shared about what they would be like! Oh the plans we made for the boys! You were so excited. And so supportive. Along with my husband, you took such great care of me while I carried those babies.

I remember when we were in labor with the twins. My mom (and dad) showed up at the hospital within hours of calling them to say "water broke, contractions, could happen quickly or slowly." They were there at 3am. Mom, you were awesome. You didn't say much, but you were there. Every time I opened my eyes, there you were.

And when those babies were finally born. You were clothed in pure j-o-y. I remember when you held them the first time. (You haven't let go since!) I remember when you came to stay with us, basically for a whole month! And then you were hooked. They were hooked! I became a mom, finally.

And I needed my mom more than ever.

My first Mother's Day. There you were, showering me with gifts and love. Our first "date night" since having babies was all thanks to you. I remember our first family vacation to the ocean wouldn't have been possible without you tagging along. And you've been tagging along ever since...

All the love lavished on the twins. You easily became their best buddy.
I remember telling you I was pregnant again. On Mother's Day 2011. The smiles again.
I love your smile, mom.

I remember all the support and help while being huge, hot and pregnant with 2 year old twin boys. I remember mom. You were always there. I remember worrying about baby boy's birth waaaayyy before it was time....you know.... "what if I go into labor in the middle of the night?".... and how you said, "don't worry, you can call me....anytime...I can keep the twins for a few days. We will work it out."

I remember mom.
I remember all the doctor appointments and all the times you arranged your schedule to accommodate ours.
I remember the day baby boy was born. You wanted to be there so bad. But you knew how much we needed you to watch the twins. You brought them up. You couldn't wait to hold baby boy. I remember the day after B went home to get boys for awhile so you could have me and baby boy to yourself. I remember mom.

And here we are, just 17 months later. Another Mother's Day. And I still have my sweet momma. Thank you Jesus!

Mom, I don't take you for granted. I thank God for you every day. I pray for you every day. I say a prayer every time I have to call you and say " hey mom, do you have anything going on tomorrow, because...."
And you say, (but not to quote you, because it's not exact every time!) "Well, I can help you out. We can work it out."

And she goes on vacation with us. She gives us "date nights". She visits us just because. She buys us sweet little gifts from time to time just because. She spoils my kiddos (who am I kidding, me too!) like crazy. She gives them lots of sugar because she can.