Mother-OVER-load. Honestly.

It's been 16 days since I became a mother of 3.
I've gone from glowing proud momma to hormonal weepy momma to grouchy exhausted momma and back. Daily.

(((((sigh))))) Two year old twins and an infant.
Some Most days, it would appear we live in somewhat of a nuthouse. Seriously. ...Really, let me paint you a picture:
Toys scattered. Everywhere. Walking about without stepping on a matchbox car is nearly impossible. Don't trip over that scooter! Look out for the race tracks strewn about! Look out for those toy bolts from the tool bench, they blend right in with the floor!
Momma; crying, laughing, walking in circles, trying to decipher a toddler tantrum, maybe breastfeeding, all while simultaneously trying to tackle laundry.
Daddy; pacing, head shaking, eyes rolling, trying to make dinner...perhaps ready to make a run for it? Haha.
Toddler number 1, running circles around momma, yelling at the top of his lungs, head thrown back, laughing hysterically.
Toddler number 2, throwing a full-blown tantrum for reasons unknown, pointing, blaming anyone in his sight for his unhappiness.
Baby, wailing, perhaps while trying to nurse or poop.
You might spot a dirty diaper waiting to go out or a leaky sippy cup or even a piece of lunch meat stuck to the wall. You might even smell poop.
Don't be too alarmed, for a family of five us, with three in diapers, this is totally normal.

But, even in this nutty chaos, there are these beautiful moments tucked in, around and through. ...A toddler using manners, brothers sharing, laughing, playing, a baby cooing and at times, sleeping peacefully, sometimes three boys sleeping, a husband and wife kissing, reminding each other of their love for one another, reminding each other that "this too, shall pass", some moments are all too quickly. And there are others, the people in our life who cover us with love, who have shared a meal, gave a gift, called to check on us and some more than once. Reminders that God is watching over us, constantly caring for us.

I would be remiss not to mention my mother. "Grammy". My children adore her and she them. We would be completely and utterly lost without her. Completely and utterly.

I love being a mom. I love this God-given assignment. I am thankful for the opportunities to grow and become more like Jesus through motherhood. The lessons are hard, sometimes seeming impossible....
  I'm feeling a bit lot consumed these days, grasping for what I know and what I need to learn. "One day at a time", I find myself repeating over and over. But honestly, telling myself, "if I could just get 5 hours of uninterupted sleep"......

This morning I recalled a two-year old message from my husband; "JUST BREATHE". When the twins were born and after he went back to work then, he used to text me this message almost daily. Those two simple words saved my sanity life more than once. It's a simple, yet powerful message even today. And I'm reminded how much I love him.

So, as life stirs and the sun comes up, another day begins. I face it with a deep breathe and a prayer and somewhere from deep within me courage swells and faith grows a little stronger. Each day is so vital; my children are learning from me. And I am determined to pass on something other than doubt and fear.