On Shaking Knees.

[Please note; this post took me four (4) days to write. It began with one idea and ended with another. I decided to publish it anyway, since it did take me four (4) days to write. Thanks for reading.:)]


I have always loved the silence of nighttime. In the winter, I love that the furnace running provides a sort of a sound barrier, allowing me to move about without worry of waking little ones.  Yes, I love my sleep, but when you have to be up anyway, you might as well find some enjoyment in it. And with three little ones, two of which require a certain amount of "active" attention all.day.long, I find those 2am feedings a perfect bonding time with my littlest one. And the 5am feeding, with baby sleeping soundly afterwards or just being content, a perfect time for just me.
  
  It's quiet, it's dark and outside the wind blows it low hum and cold breath. Inside here, I am warm, I am content, the coffee is hot, strong and sweet, and for a moment, I am alone. I write. I think. I pray. As the day welcomes her light, it's beauty never fails to amaze me. No two sunrises are ever the same. The way the light plays over the trees, across the land, and finally into my windows and filling my heart; I thank God for this moment to witness a brand new day. A fresh start. A time to truly rejoice for His refreshing grace.

Caring for a newborn and trying to be a teacher and good example to small children is exhausting work. Little people learning their way, attitudes, likes/dislikes, all very different from each other. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out trying to decipher small talk and discipline, for each child is very different. It's not unusual to find myself near tears by mid-day. Feeling defeated, wondering what to do next. Each step in my day is a lesson and example to little eyes and ears; I attempt to tread carefully. But, sometimes, my shaky knees cause me to fall. I want to melt right into the floor, become invisible. Instead, I pick myself up, deep breath in, a quick prayer, and forgiveness is sought. Start over. Again.

Grace is extended. From God and from my children, and many times, my husband. Each still love me even after the fall. How they humble me. How sweet that seeking grace and forgiveness can lift the spirits, soften the heart, and flip the most stubborn attitude.

...I love how Greg Laurie puts it......"If your knees are shaking, kneel on them!"

Jesus tells us to pray, continually. Our Heavenly Father is interested in every detail of our lives; therefore we can come boldly to His throne of grace and open our hearts to Him. (Hebrews 4:16)

Especially as mothers, we need to be reminded to "pray and not lose heart." This is a message straight from the Lord Himself. (just a few inspirations; Genesis 18:14, Jeremiah 32:17, Philippians 4:6-7, Luke 18:1, Hebrews 4:16)