These days.

Truly; 

"The days are long, but the years are short." 

And it's been quite a year. 

 BRAVE is our family word for 2015. I remember writing about that and how excited we were to start a brand new year. 

Have we been brave? Most definitely! 

[I have three boys. Brave should be their middle names!  But, seriously. It's been a year of...brave shifting.]

We are in a season of busyness. That is something we are NOT accustomed to. We have always been a laid-back, go-with-the-flow bunch, so this business of schedules and plans and places to be on a weekly basis? A-D-J-U-S-T-M-E-N-T. 

The twins are playing soccer; their very first organized sport. It's been fun and they do a great job! Mostly, they have fun, especially since they are on separate teams and get to play against each other. They have fun encouraging each other's team and every now and then a pat on the back or a quick sideline pep talk. 

All three boys attend AWANA. This is another new, wonderful experience as they work on tucking God's Word in their hearts with new friends every week. 

The twins are officially Kindergartners!!

We started our first day of (home)school August 24th.  We are currently in our fourth week with our Classical Conversations community. (Click here to find out more about Classical Conversations.)

It's such a blessing to get to learn right along with these guys. My only problem? Keeping up with them! They learn so much so fast, it blows.my.mind! These guys are really amazing. I am so proud of them...all three of them! Even baby boy is catching on quickly. We have fun days and we have hard days. BUT, even at the end of the hard days, lessons are learned and love abounds. And I could not be more thankful. 

Once again, it's Fall! 

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this time of year! The crunchy colorful leaves, the flowers put on their Fall display, pumpkins!!, cool mornings, warm bright days with NO humidity, bonfires, apple-picking, hayrides, apple cider, all things pumpkin-spice!, and school field trips! 

As we enter this new season, our hearts are overflowing with thanksgiving for all that God has given us this year. 

While there has been heartache, there has also been blessing.

The Faith of Children.

I love people. I do. I love chatting and sharing and learning about the lives of those around me. I love making new friends.
But, it's the starting line I am afraid of; you know the whole approaching and introducing part. I usually chicken out. I can't even begin to imagine how many missed opportunities there have been in my life because of this ridiculous fear.

But my boys.
Oh! To be brave like them. They will walk right up to the kids on the playground say, "Hi, I'm ____________. Want to play?". Or people in general, "Hi! I had a virus last year but I'm all better now." Or "Hi! I'm ___________ and I love superheroes, do you love superheroes? ....." And lately, after proper introductions, they've been asking, "Do you have Jesus in your heart?"  
To just about anyone, really.


Seriously. I so want to be like them when I grow up.

We went to our local playground last week and there were two little boys there with their mom. Immediately, the boys approached my boys and asked if they wanted to play. My boys of course said "Yes!" and ran off to play. Seriously, not even looking back.

I was left standing there with this colossal decision; do I sit close to the other mom or on the other side of the park? Do I talk to her? Will she like me? Does she even want company? (Crazy, I know!)
I chose to sit down the way from her, close enough to talk, but enough distance I didn't seem looming.

Then, I heard our boys talking. "I have God in my heart, do you?" "Yes! God is my friend!" "I love God."
Four little big boys sharing their love for God. All my defenses fell. I beamed. I chuckled and said out loud, "Oh wow. Our boys are talking about having God in their hearts."
  We both laughed and immediately, conversation flowed. Turns out, God blessed us with more than just perfect park weather that day. We all gained new friends. Another faithful, sweet momma who loves God and her family, clearly.

I'm not sure what would have happened if it hadn't been for my boys and their faith that day. I may have missed out on something wonderful because of my anxiety and my own insecurities. I'm so thankful to know my boys are willing to share their faith. I pray they never lose willingness and bravery to open right up to people.  

To be fearless and transparent, especially in their faith.

Let Us Dance.

 

We are a dancing family. I think we dance more in the kitchen than anything else. Other than maybe singing. We sing a lot too. It just feels good. It lifts the spirits. It turns frowns upside down. It creates distraction. (You know, like, when you have three little ones crying or shouting so much that they can't hear you even if you tried?) It creates laughter. Lots and lots of laughter!
Dancing is sometimes the best medicine.
So the other day when my sweet little introvert Z said to me (while the rest of us were dancing) "I'm too scared to dance mommy."
"Why is that, kiddo?", I asked him.
"Because people might laugh at me." He said quietly.
(people? what people?)
Yikes. We laugh a lot in our house. Especially while dancing. It never occurred to me that one might think we were laughing at them. But immediately, my own introvert self understood.
"Kiddo. Dancing should be fun. Dancing should be silly and wild and make people laugh. You can't mess it up buddy. If someone laughs at you, maybe they need to dance, too. Laugh back and tell them to try it. Then, spin around and just keep dancing."
He smiled big and joined us for a bit. We danced like silly goons all around the house until we fell to the floor laughing.
.....


The other day I witnessed this:

That is my precious husband dancing with Z. My heart melted all over the place when I walked out and saw them dancing together.

.....
It seems like such a simple thing. And, I suppose really it is. But that's the beauty of it. Something so simple can be so profound.

Life is short. Don't forget to dance.      

And don't worry about who's watching.

Four; Eli, Zek & Me.

Earlier this week, we celebrated the twins' fourth birthday. The party was Saturday (for all three boys) and the celebration continued right up to the Monday evening (their actual birth day).       
Birthdays are a really big deal around here!
I think of the twins' birth day often. I love recalling (and retelling) our story of wanting them, praying for them, and eventually, believing forthem.  I will always remember that day we discovered we were pregnant, nor forget the day we saw those two blobs on the ultrasound (the day I thought B would literally fall over!). And then finally, the day we met these precious boys face to face.

Baby boys 2010

A mommy was born that day too. I will never forget the change I felt when I held these two little lives in my arms. I was humbled to my core. I felt so small, so helpless. Even more so once we brought them home. I will never forget walking through the door of our house, setting the carriers down and asking, "now what?"
I think I cried. A lot. Read about that first week and my first thoughts on the babies here.

But God.
I still thank God He saved me years before I had babies. That I knew Him and knew I could reach out to Him before anything. How His saving grace has been our Rock since becoming parents.
Read a past post about momma-grace here.

The boys.
The twins, our firstborns, have rocked our world. What a blessing it has been to be their momma!



Elijah (it's important to note he was Baby "A" in the womb), is the biggest (in size), he is stubborn, independent, and extremely intelligent. The boy can see something one time and not only remember it, but describe it in great detail months, even a year, later. No joke. He is still describing things he saw on our vacation last year. At Christmas, he was asking about things he saw or received the Christmas before. He tells the best stories. He's hilarious and he likes to use big words, like devour, antagonizing, aggravating, enormous, and furious, just to name a few. And he loves Captain America. In fact, he wants to be Captain America. He hates the cold (me too buddy!), loves popcorn and a good movie, and he loves a good party, including a dance party in the middle of any given day. He wants to learn karate and cannot wait to go camping with his daddy this summer. He prefers to pick out his own clothes and loathes long sleeve shirts. He is meticulous and likes things in a certain order. You can't "beat around the bush" with Eli. He's tough and he's sharp; you can't get much by him. This kid's got heart; when he looks into your eyes, it's like he's looking into your soul.
...



If Elijah is left, then Ezekiel is right. Ezekiel is tender-hearted, always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He's shy, just until you break the ice, then he'll share his ice cream with you and give you a hug if you need it and tell you it's going to be all right. Though he may also tell you that "you should cover your mouth when you cough", "don't interrupt when someone is talking" and "use your indoor voice" and when you leave, he just might tell you, "good-bye and be safe!".  Zek is very caring, soft-spoken (usually) and cries when something or someone is sad. But, don't let his sweet heart or small(er) size fool you, he's still tough. And he's got an arm. For punching and throwing. He can and wants to be a baseball player. Boy's got skills. He's not into sitting still for long, but Zek loves to learn, to be taught. He wants to learn to read and write. One day, he's "going to write a story".  He's got seasonal allergies and is allergic to cats and dogs, but he's got a plan. He prays God will take his allergies away, so one day he can have a yellow dog named Bananas. But if not, "that's okay mommy, I won't be mad." He loves to be outdoors. It doesn't matter the weather, other than, he really misses swimming in the summer. He doesn't care much about clothing, yet he does like his hair combed a certain way...never, ever, sticking up.
While they are opposite in so many way, these guys are best buddies. They don't like being away from each other for long. And they refuse to sleep in their room without the other. They work and play together very well. They're pretty cool big brothers, too. They have been awesome at welcoming baby brother Isaac into the family.
They share a love for superheroes, Lego building, fort building, wrestling, racing, laughing loudly, baking and loving on mommy. And they'll both tell you, "Daddy and Grammy are my best friends."
The twins and I have fond memories of snuggling in the "big chair", sitting together when we were just bone tired and didn't know what else to do.  The three of us have a bond that will never be broken. I'm really thankful to be here with them, every single day.

Eli and Zek 2014

On being their Momma.
When I look at all my children, I just see the face of God. He created them. And in doing so, He created a mommy. My life was forever changed the day these boys were conceived. And more so the day they were born. The day a mommy was born.




Here's to the future and turning of another new page.

Winter Wild Lights.

Thank-Full; Bravery.

Last night was rough. And the turning of a page in our life.

The boys had their first dental appointment yesterday. They were so brave and did such a great job. Watching them in the dentist chair from a distance, listening to them chatting with hygienist like big kids. It was just another bittersweet momma moment. I was so proud of them. And then, we had a chat with the Doctor. "Do they have a habit?" He asked. He was referring to thumb-sucking.
"No. They use pacifiers. [cue the shocked looks] But only when they sleep and we're throwing them out when they turn 4 in a couple of months."
"They really need to go." ("Please tell them that, Doc." He did.)

So, last night, E said, "I'm ready to be a big boy, let's throw away my paci"

We weren't really prepared to do that just then. But, we went with it. I grabbed a jar and told the boys to leave their pacifiers for the "Paci Fairy". (That was the first creative idea that came to mind at that moment!)
So they did it. I could not believe it.

Low and behold, when it was time to turn out the lights, E cried. "But, I need my paci mommy! What will I put in my mouth?"
"Kiddo, try holding your bear or your lamb. Or cuddle up with Captain America. It will be fine, I promise."
After a short debate over nightlights and star lights, etc., all was quiet and they went to sleep rather quickly.

Around 2am, Z was crying, loudly, for his paci. It was awful. I tried consoling him. I told him the paci fairy had already come and the pacifiers were gone.
"I don't want anything else mommy! I don't want Christmas presents or a birthday party, you can have all my clothes, I don't need anything! Please give me my paci mommy!" Sobs, cries, gasps.

The death of the paci.
[It may seem silly to some, but for my boys, who have used a paci since birth, it's a loss. Loss of a comfort, loss of a habit. And it happened cold turkey. That's tough stuff! Especially for a three year old.]

I was heartbroken for him. I felt so torn. I was tired, I was worried the others boys would wake up, I wanted this moment to end. But, turning back now would only make it tougher later. Turning back now would actually be more harmful than helpful. I had to be strong. I had to help him get through this.
It got worse. Z had himself in such a "tizzy" that he was scratching. A lot. Hives were forming. I was starting to panic myself. "Help me God!" I just started praying for Z, for us, for help.
I gave him some medicine for the itching and put an ice pack on his legs. We laid down on the couch  and watched a little television. I just kept praying. I rubbed his back. I told him softly, over and over again we would get through this.

Eventually, this precious boy fell back to sleep. He woke up a couple more times, but we did it.

We made it through night one without pacifiers (for the big boys, that is.)

I am so thankful for hanging in there. For bravery. For not giving in when I so wanted to. This wasn't the first time and it surely won't be the last. Each time, I am a little bit braver, a little bit stronger. And I am grateful for God's help through it all.

The night came and went.

This morning, the boys woke up without saying much about the pacifiers. But I did go ahead and show them the money that the "paci fairy" left them. They're pretty excited.

 I'm not sure how tonight will go, but we will get through it. We will be brave and strong and we will all be better for it.

Sand, Sun and Fun; Our Family Vacation.

Two weeks ago we went on our annual family vacation. This consisted of me, B (my husband), my parents and our three boys.

To quote my sweet Zeky,"it was the best time of my life!"

Mom and I drove down with the kids Friday night. Night, as in through the night. We figured less stops, more rest for the kids, etc. It went fairly well. It still took us thirteen hours, but I must say, the boys traveled well.

While it took a few days to acclimate, (you know, with three little ones) we had such an amazing time away. There's something wonderful about waking up, eating breakfast and heading to the beach, daily. Packing picnics and just romping around the beach all day long. And then coming back to our condo for lazy late afternoons. Evenings were filled with good food, shopping, leisure walks, and more time at the beach.
Most of the week, we were all smiles. So much laughter. So much love. So much sun.

It was so fun to watch all three boys chase the waves, build sandcastles, laugh and play together. It was time to unplug, unwind, and forget about all the mundane and worries of "life".

 

I cannot tell you how many times throughout the week that I prayed for families everywhere. That they would be blessed to have time away together. To refresh, recharge and just enjoy being together. This trip is always such a blessing to our family. It's so nice to just have ...fun... together.

My beautiful momma goes everywhere with us!

Lunch at the diner with all my guys.



Feeding the ducks and fish at the Boardwalk



Z and ice cream!

E and ice cream!

The boys finally get to ride motorcycles!

Headed to the Boardwalk

Z at the pool

baby boy at the pool

Always silly.

We found TONS of these little "urchins" burrowing in the sand.

The boys loved picnicking at the beach.



Daddy is so fun.

E wanted so badly to "surf like the big boys".

We're already looking forward to next year!

...