i have known loss in my life before. the loss of a grandparent, a beloved pet, a friend, a relative. all loss is loss and breaks the heart. ....but there is nothing like the loss of a child. whether in the womb or out, as mother, i know how the plans and dreams for this life begin as soon as you discover there is life inside of you. and how it shatters the heart when those dreams die, when life is lost.
there is nothing, no nothing, like holding new life in your hands, rocking this miracle in your arms. whether planned or not, new life is a miracle.
these days, i am consumed with emotion, consumed with dreams and excitement and bittersweetness of baby's first christmas, and three little birthdays all in a row. these three little miracles alive and active and well. i thank God every day. every.single.day for the time i have with them. trying not to take it for granted. some days i do. some days i think, "oh we have tomorrow." ...but will we?
...these days, my heart is also consumed with thoughts of the momma who sits in the hospital with her new baby girl. waiting. praying. waiting. praying. i try to imagine sitting there watching for every breath, counting. waiting. praying. i don't know exactly how it goes, i've never actually been there. but i know i don't want to. but it's happening and my heart breaks and i just want to hold that momma. i want to hold her and pray for her and with her and hold that precious life, to see her breathing. to see her growing.
baby natalie was born at 25 weeks. she weighed 1lb.5oz. i imagine she could have laid in the palm my hand, curled up, so sweet.
like me, you may hear this and think, "how to survive!? can she survive? God! let her survive!"
ahh, but God! GOD! our true miracle worker, life-giver, sustainer. He is our miracle!
baby natalie is a fighter. God is at work. baby natalie reminds me, though i have yet to meet her, that not only is life precious and fragile, but every breath, every.single.breath we take, our children take, our loved ones take, is precious, a miracle in itself. God is the giver of life, breath and every precious moment we have here. let's not take it for granted. ever.
won't you join me in prayer for baby natalie? lift her and her family, my family, and that precious exhausted momma who is pleading with God for her baby's life? please?
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